belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
