i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
