yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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