just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
3 2 1 whiskey
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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