I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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