No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
