oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's blow job season.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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