You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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