his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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