go do what you do best...puke behind churches
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize