Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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