Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize