I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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