I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
