Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
