My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
