just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
