I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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