so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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