My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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