i barfeds in our rink
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
