Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
