I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
