So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
