if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
