I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
