Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
