Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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