my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
