my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
