winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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