The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize