I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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