I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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