My room smells like vodka and shame
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
