I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Someone shit on the floor
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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