i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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