i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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