I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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