I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
