what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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