I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
