if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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