found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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