Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You ruined the universe
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
