Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
