Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
