you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
