BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
