Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
