Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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