Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
