it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
