At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
