Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
