Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
