she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
