Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
