Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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