Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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